The Birth Story Part 4: Birth Days, Hospital Days & Going Home

Jaime's birth day was one of those days that seem completely unreal.  After he was born and we all were introduced, we napped for a couple of hours in the hospital room that would be our little bubble world for a few days.  I was instantly smitten with this sweet baby and watching Dan with him added even more to my full heart. 

The mix of relief from delivery and overwhelming emotions made the day completely hazy.  All I wanted to do was snuggle this little bug.  But we started the post delivery doctor and nurse rounds pretty early.  I think we had slept for 2-3 hours before they began.  The pediatrician, OB, anesthesiologist, and nurses came in and out through our revolving door all morning.  In between doctor visits we talked about the delivery, about how sweet our baby is, about how disappointing the food was, etc. 

 

Jaime did a lot of sleeping on his birth day, recovering from the trauma of delivery.  It was an extremely hot day with temperatures soaring to 100+ degrees.  We snuggled on Dan's 'dad bed' by the window and watched people boating on the lake.  He got to meet his Grandma and Grandpa U when he was just 12-13 hours old.

The second day in the hospital was filled with test for Jaime and doctor visits in the morning and visits from friends in the afternoon.  Everyone who visited brought us some treats - pizza, fruit, my favorite donut, champagne - which was so nice and appreciated.  I thought I wouldn't want visitors during our stay at the hospital but I was completely wrong; the visits were wonderful.

By the second night we were ready to leave.  I had a feeling I wouldn't want to be in the hospital very long.  But given the timing of Jaime's birth some test were still needed (they only do certain test at certain times of the day blah blah blah) so we had a final night.  Thursday morning we were ready to go!

 

Those first couple of days were very sweet.  Jaime was the cutest little bug and did a good job of wiggling right into my heart.  Dan was awesome - I hadn't anticipated that he would spend the whole time there but appreciated that it was the three of us becoming a family together in our little bubble world. 

That Thursday morning we checked out and headed home.  First stopping by to pick up the doggies from Lisa, who had been sweet to give them a bath.  Then to Babies R Us to pick up the infant bed/cosleeper that I had purchased on Sunday and planned up on Monday.  Then home.  And boy was I exhausted from those couple of errands and the excitement of leaving the hospital. 

We were home about 1-2 hours before the power on our block went out.  It was 100+ degrees in the shade that day.  Our four story townhome that had zero trees to shade it was uncomfortably hot in no time.  The power was estimated to be fixed around 9:30pm.  We loaded back into the car and headed north to Grandma and Grandpa U's house for the night.

By Friday around noon we were finally home.  We now had one week to pack up that home for our move to the east coast.  And one week for Jaime to say hello and goodbye to Chicago.

The Birth Story Part 3: Go Time

Her Side:

The time to get this party started was finally here... it was go time or game time or whatever you want to call it.  It was about 1:30am on July 3rd.  40.5 hours since my last full nights sleep.  26 hours since my water broke.  24 hours since I had eaten anything other than the Jello and apple pie.  17.5 hours since Daniel arrived from the east coast.  17 hours since starting Pitocin.  11 hours since starting the Epidural.  1.5 hours since the Epidural refresher.  35.5 weeks since finding out that we would be having a baby.

My doctor arrived and sat on the foot of my bed.  And we started to chat between contractions/pushing.  She shared some of the doozies that she has seen for names, such as La-a (pronounced Ladasha) and Abcd.  She also decided to guess girl for the baby.  The staff was all about the suspense of what gender this little one was going to be, our daytime nurse said when she left for the day that she was going to have to check the next day to find out. 

I had intended to create a playlist of songs that help me find strength in tough runs but never got to it... honestly I felt so crappy that the dim lights and silence were what I wanted.  I had taken my ponytail out earlier and now that my arm was not able to lift up that high I had Dan redo my ponytail... um yeah.  He has no idea how to put a ponytail in!  It was comical.

For some reason I had the impression that having an epidural would mean that you wouldn't feel anything or be fully present during the birth.  That was not the case at all.  I felt every contraction.  Maybe not the same as if I wasn't medicated but it was still me saying when another contraction had started and it was time to push.  My doctor and I would look at each other and I would say "yup, one started."

The arm that had gotten so that I couldn't lift it had gotten worse and was really painful now.  All I wanted was for that damn IV to come out and the the blood pressure cuff to come off.  I started to feel extremely warm and sick.  The last time they took my temp was at 2am and it was 100 so not quite to a fever.  I threw up the apple pie.  The nurse put a cold wash cloth on my neck... um, no way!  Even about to pass out in labor I can't stand to have anything touching my neck so I found the strength to move it to my forehead... Dan laughed at me.

I am not sure exactly when it started but roughly an hour in my upper back started to spazm.  It progressed over the next hour to being almost continuous and causing me to sit out contractions because I simply couldn't move.  That hour was the most painful hour of my life.  The back and shoulder pain was far worse than the contractions or even the eventual delivery.  The one and only point where I snapped at Dan (or anyone) was when he started to explain to me why my back was spasming... my response was "are you kidding me - now is not the time."  Otherwise I acted the same way I would have expected - I was quiet and tried to keep the pain to myself without making a show.  The anesthesiologist was called to monitor me.   

My doctor asked if I was okay with forceps being used.  The baby was slightly turned at an odd angle which was stopping him at his current position and although she didn't say it as she was an excellent cheerleader, I was about done.  I was okay with whatever would get us to the end of this story!

The anesthesiologist arrived along with about six other doctors and nurses.  It became dramatic.  Next thing I knew there was a baby crying and everyone shouting "It's a boy!" and my doctor exclaiming that he was perfect and "he even has little baby rolls already!"  It was 3:35 am. They asked what his name was and I said, in almost a whisper, it was James. 

As they monitored me to see if I would stabilize they did the APGAR (Jaime scored 9 out of 9) and footprints and all of that on little James.  Dan became the photographer.  The staff was still buzzing about.  My epidural was removed. 

And then James was layed on my chest and almost instantly stopped crying.  I barely remember what was said from that point on... my doctor was all excited about James and was talking to me about becoming a mom (totally can't remember what she was saying), the nurse mentioned something at some point about reaching the point of a fever, and I also caught something about almost being an emergency c-section.  

Jaime and I snuggled.  Dan then snuggled with Jaime.  We had a son and he was beautiful.  I ate the turkey sandwich that they brought because I felt like I probably needed to.  And then our room on the maternity floor was ready for us.  Our little family of three made our way to our recovery room and all promptly fell asleep.

His Side:

After a few naps, usually around an hour since nurses continuously come in to check stats, the doctor came in and said it was time.  I shot out of the father bed (a tiny couch that sort of folds out), got my shoes on and took my place on the side of Tara's bed.  The doctor proceeded to assess the situation and determined that the kid didn't fully drop as low as they would like but the contractions were strong enough to proceed. 

The doctor gave me a task; to hold Tara's foot and leg so she could push against me during each contraction pushing session.  Not the task I was thinking I would have.  I was baffled; in the movies the guy just holds her hand and gives her little words of encouragement while she swears at him.  I am in the action!  What's that about?  Taking my job seriously, I grabbed her leg and helped her push.  Both the doctor and nurse were giving Tara so much encouragement and cheerleading I felt I would just be an idiot if I did it too.  Tara agreed. 

After a little while Tara began to get back spasms.  Really bad ones, that were making her job of pushing during the contraction extremely painful, and there was  nothing I or the doctor could do.  When the kid still hadn't lined up properly the call was made to use forceps in order to guide him out.  Basically salad tongs.  As we were at the point of emergency c-section. 

At once a rush of 6 nurses and doctors came in, just like in a movie.  Lots of big words and fast talking.  My only concern was my wife in a lot of pain and the kid that wouldn't evacuate her body.  Little one is already being a pain. Manning my post on the side of Tara, everyone proceeded to make a final push attempt at getting the kid out.  She managed a few good ones before she was completely spent, but that's all that it took with the help of the tongs to get the kid out. The doctors took the kid to the exam table and I got some pictures of the action, of course once he was cleaned off cause no one wants pictures of that. 

The giant baby was finally out!  Tara (now Mommy) was incredibly strong, she did an amazing job and the kid is perfect, I'm proud of both of them.

The Birth Story Part 2: The Waiting Game

Right before Dan strolled in I gave the okay to start Pitocin.  My contractions hadn't changed in the 9 hours or so since my water broke - still at 10+ minute intervals and same intensity.  Around 8:30am the drugs started and I was silly enough to think that this meant things would start to progress quickly.

We chatted and were all giddy with excitment that the day was finally here.  Dan add to the birth plan section of the white board right before delivery baby 'dan passes out' - every new nurse, DR and resident found that to be hilarious throughout the day.  Dan went to get something for breakfast... and came back with sushi rolls.  He had sushi rolls for dinner too.

We went on walks back and forth down the hall, dragging the battery pack for the monitors and IV.  We talked through the short list of names to decide on the top one for each gender.  We watched Seinfeld reruns, and we talked about random things that I can't even remember. 

I am not the most patient person and waiting is killer for me.  Now that the big looming question of when was this labor thing going to start was answered I was dying to know if we were having a little son or daughter.

Periodically the doctor would come in to check on me and baby.  At about noon I was anxious for progress but I was still to chipper to be very far along (according to the DR) and my contractions were only down to 8 minute intervals.  Between noon and 2:30pm I was no longer comfortable in the bed, I spent those hours sitting on the exercise ball (the only way I was comfortable) while Dan napped. 

By 2pm my contracts were very strong and just under 5 minutes apart so the DR did the first internal exam (they don't do them very often when your water breaks to avoid introducing anything/infection).  In the office that week I was barely dilated so thought for sure that with the contractions all week and the pitocin and progress with contractions that day that I would be much further along... but only just over 2 cm dilated at this point.  It was going to be a long day with birth estimated as most likely being after midnight. 

I was very tired at this point having only had maybe 1.5 hours sleep since I woke up at 8am on Sunday morning.  With contractions being so frequent and strong now there was no way I was going to sleep through them and another 12 hours would leave me exhausted.  I decided to do the epidural so I could try to nap.  I had been extremely freaked out by the epidural, but it wasn't so bad to have put in, and I almost instantly went to sleep.

Around 6pm my doctor had ended her office hours and was at the hospital.  She came in to check on me with the exclamation of "you waited for me!"  A quick exam let us know that there had been progress but we were still quite a few hours away from go time and she advised to rest.  Sleeping was kind of hard with the frequent checks of vitals and the monitors from the nurse and I was getting uncomfortable.  Dan headed down to get something for dinner and I asked if there was anything that I could possible eat in the clear liquids department... they gave me the option of jello or a popsicle.  Dan snuck up a piece of apple pie for me to along with the jello.  This was all I had to eat between Monday at 3am and Tuesday at 4am.

We watched another episode of Seinfeld.  I tried to rest but was pretty uncomfortable so sleep was not happening.  During one of the checks from the nurse that evening I discovered that not only was my left leg tingling but I could no longer lift my left arm (the one with the IV) to move it without some serious pain. 

Around 11:30pm I was seriously ready to get this show on the road and my epidural had essentially worn off.  By midnight I was now fully dilated but baby was not quite to the position needed before I could start pushing.  So they gave me another dose of the epidural and said that we would probably start pushing in an hour and a half. 

Also noteworthy, at midnight the nurse who had check me in before her shift ended was now back on duty... we had come full circle on the nursing schedule.  I believe we had six different nurses during labor and delivery.

I tried to rest... was completely exhausted and my body was not feeling so great. 

The Birth Story Begins...Her Side & His Side

Her Side:

I started having practice contractions regularly at the start of week 38 - by regularly I mean every day and throughout the day but not necessarily every hour or patterned.  By Thursday they started to get stronger and more frequent, my lower back was achy and my knees ached.  Friday morning around 5am when woken by another contraction I texted Dan to keep his bag handy to bolt to the airport (clearly he didn't believe me as he went out in the city that night).   I was at work until 7pm trying to work on transitioning, crossing things off my list, and getting things ready for working from home as I had a huge to do list for the next week.  Friday and Saturday I was as grumpy and short fused as can be.  Sunday I decided to try to have a better attitude as I couldn't continue being this grumpy if I had till the 18th.  A long afternoon coffee break visiting with Colleen helped me get into a much better mood.  I packed my hospital bag and finished a few odds and ends off my before-baby to do list.  My contractions started to be about 10-15 minutes apart and I fretted about knowing for sure that the practice contractions were real contractions with enough lead time for Dan to fly back. 

Sunday night I was not hungry at all but decided a donut and cereal were not enough for the baby so ate a small salad and a root beer float.  I planned on an early bedtime since I had been staying up way to late recently but before I knew it it was nearly 11pm so I headed out for the doggie bedtime walk, going to the bathroom beforehand as always with my recently tiny bladder.  About a block and a half from home I freaked out as I thought I was peeing my pants... seriously how humiliating.  Now the dogs turned unbelievably pathetic and wouldn't go potty, I was trying to hold my legs together as tight as can be and keeping watch for anyone that might be walking down the sidewalk... luckily the sidewalks were uncharacteristically quiet and I didn't run into anyone.  Finally we got back to the house (Shelby still hadn't gone potty).  I ran to the bathroom... yeah, that wasn't pee.

At this point I was trying to decide if maybe it was really just pee and I was trying to make it more than it was.  But as more fluid continued to leak and there was blood mixed in it was clear that my water broke.  I did not want to have to go to the hospital before being very far along in labor so that I could do the early labor part in the comfort of my home.  So I thought about not calling the doctor's office and just going in to my appointment on Monday morning... probably not a great idea.  And so I took a deep breathe and called the Dr.  The Dr that answered was one of the doctors that I hadn't met at the practice because her appointments were so far off schedule that I saw a NP instead so I could make it back to work for my performance review... so I was a little bummed it was her.  She said that is quite the candidate for a story of water breaking so wanted me to come in right away even though I was GBS negative so no antibiotics needed... but the risk of infection was the reasoning.  She thought I was ridiculous when I asked if they did the test at triage if I could go home (meaning until labor progressed)... "no, you will beI going home with a baby" - okay thanks.  I negotiated four hours at home, she later apologized thinking that I wanted to stay home until Dan got in from NYC as it must have ended up on the chart that he was flying in from NYC (everyone had a comment when coming in to check on us).  I should have napped.  But I didn't.

After getting off the phone with the doctor I called Dan and said it was time to book a flight.  He paused... "what do you mean... really?"  And he then proceeded to completely freak out.  It was pretty cute.  He couldn't remember a single password and was cursing the need for passwords as he was trying to log on to Southwest... the flight somehow got booked.  He was freaking out about everything from getting his work VPN started up for the first time to "but I have packages being delivered this week!" to the train schedule.  It was entertaining but after a while I needed to leave him to his freaking out and get busy with getting myself ready to go to the hospital.

After a shower, another walk with the dogs to make sure they were good to go till morning, bowl of oatmeal and a banana it was time to head out.  I grabbed my bags and pulled out of the garage with a chorus of the loudest, most pathetic dog whines and howls you have ever heard.  Drove myself the 10 minute drive to the hospital as calm and cool as a cucumber and headed into to triage. 

I speed walked laps in the walking hall as I really wanted to get this labor progressing so I wouldn't have to have pitocin. 

Once a room opened up they admitted me and got me hooked up to an IV.  I pushed to delay the start of pitocin and after receiving the text that Dan had landed at 7:45am took about a 45 minute nap until he came in all smiles at about 8:30am. 

His Side:

After a pretty good weekend, went out friday night in Manhattan, did some exploring on Saturday and relaxed in the apartment on Sunday I was ready to begin the week.  I knew I had a lot to do this week, as we have a deadline to get the budgets in the new system and finish my beginning of the month tasks.  As I began to get ready for bed, a little later than I should have, I got a call from Tara.  She immediately told me to get a plane ticket booked and get back home. 

It took a few min to sink in as I wanted to be sure she wasn't just being needy and wanted me to come home cause she missed me.  I then started to get all worked up in a hyper/frantic mode.  Luckily, Southwest Airline had an available seat on the 6.15am flight for a massive $109.  With the ticket purchased, I had to cancel my Peapod order since I wouldn't be needing any groceries to be delivered.  My work VPN was being slightly difficult, which proceeded to add a fair amount of stress since I needed to send coworkers an email saying I'm headed home.  Once I freaked out a suffient amount the VPN then worked and all was right in my world.  Scurring around the apartment at 2am, I had to get my laundry done, the dishes cleaned and my bags packed. 

I made the first train to the airport at 4.34am and was at the gate at 5.30am.  After a short flight I arrived in Chicago and had a friend pick me up, passed him my house keys so he could watch the dogs and then dropped me off at the hospital.  Zipping to the 8th floor I found where Tara was staying and we began the journey.